How to Talk to Your Son About Puberty

Published November 14, 2026 · Written from AAP, KidsHealth and other pediatric sources

Most parents wait for their son to bring it up. He usually will not. KidsHealth advises not to wait for kids to come with questions, because they may not know it is okay to ask about something so sensitive.

Start earlier than you think

KidsHealth notes that some boys start puberty as early as 9, so the first talk may need to come sooner than feels natural. It also says to talk about the changes before they begin, since kids who do not know what is happening can feel scared or alone.

Make it many short talks

This is not a one-time event. KidsHealth describes puberty talks as an ongoing conversation, and suggests revisiting the lessons because kids often still have questions later. Short, repeated chats tend to feel less awkward than one big sit-down.

Do your homework first

KidsHealth suggests getting answers to your own questions before answering your child's, and practicing what you want to say if you feel uneasy. If he asks something you cannot answer, his doctor is a good place to turn.

Be reassuring

Kids worry about how they look during puberty. KidsHealth recommends a reassuring tone and letting him know that everyone goes through these changes, many of them awkward, and that the timing varies a lot from one child to another.

Cover the topics boys worry about

Body changes: growth of the testicles and penis, pubic and underarm hair, acne, sweating, a growth spurt, a deeper voice, and facial hair.
Erections and wet dreams: KidsHealth tells boys that an erection can happen at any time, even during sleep, and that wet dreams can happen.
Size worries: the American Academy of Pediatrics says boys' top concern is size. KidsHealth says boys develop at different times and rates, so a boy may feel too big or too small, and his size will change as he keeps developing.
Privacy: the AAP notes that masturbation is normal and harmless when done privately.

Let him be relieved

KidsHealth points out that kids are often relieved when a parent takes the lead. Telling him up front that it may be a little uncomfortable, but that it is important, can take the pressure off both of you.

Where a book can help

Some boys find it easier to read first and ask later. A book gives him a private way to get answers, and gives you something to point to when the talk stalls.

Good to know: This article is general education, not medical advice. If you are worried about your son's health or development, ask his pediatrician.

Want help starting the conversation? Get the free parent conversation guide on the home page, or see the book for boys 12 to 15.

Sources

Facts checked against these pages on November 14, 2026. See how we fact-check.