A Grandparent's Guide to Talking About Puberty
Published November 14, 2026 · Written from AAP, KidsHealth and other pediatric sources
Many grandparents want to help a grandson through the awkward years and are not sure where their role starts and stops. This guide is built from university extension and pediatric sources, and it comes with one rule first.
Start with his parents
The Raising Children Network says a grandchild's parents are almost certainly doing their best, and that respecting their parenting makes a hard conversation go better. It adds that you can voice a concern, but the decision about what to do belongs to the parents. For puberty, that means checking in with them before you start: ask what they have told him, what they want you to cover, and what they would rather handle themselves.
Why your voice matters
University of Georgia Extension notes that when young people are not comfortable talking to adults about these subjects, they usually turn to peers, who may give inaccurate information. A trusted grandparent can be a calm, accurate alternative. Georgia Extension also says not to wait for grandchildren to ask, because they may not feel comfortable raising it if you have never talked about these things before.
Set the tone
- Be positive. Georgia Extension says your attitude makes a big difference, and that supportive grandparents help grandchildren see puberty as a normal, positive part of growing up.
- Be approachable. Michigan State University Extension suggests starting early, reassuring teens about how special they are, and being open to finding answers together. You do not have to know everything to be supportive.
- Keep it going. KidsHealth describes puberty talks as an ongoing conversation rather than a single sit-down.
If you are not comfortable
You do not have to explain it all yourself. Georgia Extension says that if you are not comfortable explaining puberty, good books for kids give the basic information. Michigan State University Extension suggests asking a youth librarian for recommendations. A book is also a gentle way to hand him the facts while leaving the bigger conversations to his parents.
What boys most want to know
KidsHealth says boys worry about how they look and about size, and that kids are often relieved when an adult takes the lead. The AAP notes that size is boys' number one concern. A simple reassurance helps: bodies develop on different timelines, and what he is feeling is normal.
A short checklist
- Check with his parents first about what is okay to cover.
- Pick a private, low-pressure moment, like a car ride or a walk, rather than a face-to-face sit-down.
- Keep it calm and factual, and follow his lead on how much he wants to talk.
- Say it is okay to ask you anything, and mean it.
- If he asks something you cannot answer, say so and look it up together, or point him to his pediatrician.
Good to know: This article is general education, not medical advice. If you are worried about your son's health or development, ask his pediatrician.
Sources
- Talking to Your Child About Puberty (KidsHealth, Nemours)
- Physical Development in Boys: What to Expect (HealthyChildren.org, American Academy of Pediatrics)
- Talking to Your Grandchildren About Puberty (University of Georgia Extension)
- Talking With Teen Grandchildren About Sex (University of Georgia Extension)
- Grandparents Raising Grandchildren, Part Four (Michigan State University Extension)
- Grandparents: Do You Need to Worry About Your Grandchildren? (Raising Children Network)
Facts checked against these pages on November 14, 2026. See how we fact-check.